The Calm Perspective

Insights and lessons from the field of communication, safety, and professionalism.

Safer encounters begin with one click

At 886 Consulting, we believe calm is not the absence of conflict—it’s the outcome of skill, awareness, and sincerity.
The Calm Perspective shares experience-driven insights drawn from decades of real-world crisis communication and leadership.
Each article explores how awareness, influence, and Professional Sincerity® create safer encounters, stronger relationships, and better outcomes across every industry.

Don't Check a Box, Get it Right

Jeffrey Scholz (INCI)

IADLEST National Certified Instructor - Managing Owner at 886 Consulting, LLC - Retired New York State Police Senior Investigator for BCI Training

November 3, 2025

Loss Prevention Magazine recently sent out an email advertisement titled, “Training for Impact or Training for Compliance? Why Not Both?”, and it made a fair point. Training shouldn’t just check a box. But the reality is that most organizations are still doing that.

I spent nearly three decades in law enforcement, 25 years with the New York State Police, and more than half of my career as a crisis negotiator. I’ve encountered armed, desperate, and terrified individuals where every word mattered. In those moments, communication wasn’t theory; it was survival.

What I teach now through 886 Consulting, LLC and my From Crisis to Calm™ program comes directly from that experience. The stakes may not always be life or death in the civilian world, but the principles are the same. The way you speak, manage your emotions, and project calm under stress determines whether a situation escalates or resolves.

Most corporate or retail “training” looks good on paper. People click through online modules, answer a few questions, and management checks the completion box. But when real tension hits, when a customer is angry, an employee is overwhelmed, or a confrontation starts to build—those same people often freeze, argue, or shut down. That isn’t because they don’t care. It’s because they were trained to complete a task, not to perform under pressure.

From Crisis to Calm™ changes that. It takes the science and structure of crisis communication and applies it to everyday interactions. It gives people the tools to recognize emotion, regulate their own response, and influence others toward safer outcomes.

When I worked as a negotiator, there was no script to follow. You had to be calm, credible, and sincere, able to connect on an emotional level while maintaining enough distance to think clearly and make sound decisions. That balance is the foundation of what I call Professional Sincerity®. It means being empathic enough to understand, detached enough to stay objective, and genuine enough to build trust all at once. It’s the ability to care without losing control, to listen without absorbing someone else’s chaos, and to stay professional without becoming mechanical. The same skill set that I used to defuse an armed, barricaded subject can help a loss prevention officer manage a heated encounter or an HR representative navigate a difficult client conversation. The stakes differ, but the human dynamics are the same.

The metrics that matter most aren’t completion rates or course evaluations. They’re what happens after the class. How many confrontations were de-escalated before they turned into incidents? How many employees now approach tense moments with confidence instead of anxiety? How many customers or clients leave feeling respected instead of disrespected or dismissed? How much turnover disappears because staff finally feel supported and equipped? That’s impact. That’s compliance with meaning.

Too many organizations still confuse compliance with competence. Real professionalism starts where the checkbox ends. Policies and procedures matter, but people perform under pressure the way they’re trained to perform.

That’s why every From Crisis to Calm™ session focuses on applied skill: honest communication, situational awareness, emotional control, and the kind of behavioral understanding that makes people safer and more effective the next day.

In the end, training either changes behavior or it doesn’t. One drives culture, safety, and trust. The other fills out a spreadsheet.

At 886 Consulting, LLC, we’re building the first kind: changing attendees’ behavior and influencing behaviors and outcomes in difficult situations through training grounded in real-world experience, refined for today’s workplace, and proven to help people move From Crisis to Calm™. Because checking a box doesn’t prevent losses, protect reputations, or keep people safe. Behavior does.

The Hidden Cost of Missed Cues: How Poor Communication and Poor Situational Awareness Put Loss Prevention at Risk

May 6, 2025

By Jeffrey G. Scholz, Retired New York State Police Senior Investigator | Owner of 886 Consulting, LLC | Developer of From Crisis to Calm™ & Professional Sincerity®

Loss prevention (LP), asset protection (AP), and security professionals operate in a high-stakes environment where misjudgment can lead to serious consequences. Whether it’s a failure to notice pre-assault indicators, poorly chosen words in a confrontation, or a breakdown in post-incident documentation, the risks extend far beyond merchandise loss.

Poor communication and weak situational awareness create bad optics; they also create liability, danger, and reputational harm for both individuals and the organizations they represent.

Let’s break down how these failures happen, what the science tells us about them, and why retail policies are often reactive rather than preventative. Later on, we’ll discuss how we can start to fix it.

Real Incidents with Real Consequences

The retail world has seen numerous examples where breakdowns in communication or awareness have led to violence, lawsuits, or tragic outcomes:

Walmart (2023, Georgia): An LP employee was seriously injured after attempting to stop a shoplifter alone and without backup. Bystander video shows the encounter escalating rapidly with little verbal engagement beforehand [1].
Target (2022, California): A confrontation between an AP team and a suspected shoplifter resulted in a physical struggle in front of children. No clear attempt at verbal de-escalation was evident in video footage, and the store faced public criticism despite being within policy [2].
Best Buy (2021, Texas): An employee was terminated after confronting a suspected thief without authorization. While the employee’s instincts were praised online, the company cited “violation of safety protocols” and exposure to unnecessary risk [3].

These examples demonstrate a common theme: the outcome of any encounter is shaped well before physical contact is made. The moment someone enters a store, subtle signals like posture, pacing, proximity, and scanning may all reveal intent. The stores may teach how to recognize this intent in a shoplifter, but do they teach enough about navigating the inevitable encounter with the shoplifter? Because once contact is made, the way that contact is handled can either calm the storm or ignite it.

Behavioral Science: What We Miss, and Why

Situational awareness isn’t just about watching your surroundings. It’s about processing behavior in context. According to Dr. Gavin de Becker, author of The Gift of Fear, humans constantly broadcast pre-incident indicators—subtle, observable behaviors often preceding aggressive actions [4]. Taking things in context contributes to a more accurate and fair assessment of behaviors.

LP professionals who miss these cues are more likely to be caught off guard, respond too late, or misjudge hostile intent entirely.

Additionally, under stress, cognitive narrowing occurs: people focus on the threat itself and lose peripheral awareness. This "tunnel vision" can result in missing critical escape routes, accomplices, bystanders, or other safety considerations.

Poor communication further compounds the issue. Behavioral studies show that in tense situations, tone and delivery carry more weight than content [5]. When LP staff default to commands, sarcasm, or dismissiveness—intentionally or not—they often escalate situations without realizing it.

Policy Gaps and the Risk of "Good Enough" Training

Many retailers still rely on minimal communication training, often limited to onboarding videos or broad workplace safety modules. Loss prevention associates are typically briefed on “do not pursue” policies and use-of-force limitations. Still, few are taught how to professionally and safely engage someone on the sales floor or at an exit in real time.

Too often, internal policies create uncertainty instead of clarity. LP/AP professionals are left asking:

Can I engage this person, and how should I approach?
What should I say if their behavior escalates?
What are the signs I should be watching for before something turns confrontational?

This hesitation leads to inconsistency, and inconsistency leads to risk. That risk impacts both safety and revenue. The two are more connected than most think.

Many high-risk encounters don’t start with a confrontation. Instead, they begin with subtle indicators of agitation, avoidance, or aggression. And many of those encounters can be de-escalated early through confident posture, respectful tone, clear boundaries, and emotionally intelligent communication.

Unfortunately, when something goes wrong, the blame often falls on the LP associate for “not following policy,” even if they were never trained in how to prevent or recognize the escalation in the first place.

It’s not just about stopping theft. It’s about training staff to recognize hostile intent, communicate calmly under pressure, and create safer outcomes before anyone gets hurt.

The Liability Loop

When poor situational awareness and communication skills collide, the result is often what I call the liability loop:

Missed behavior: Subtle indicators of hostile intent are ignored.
Improvised approach: The staff member engages without strategy or training.
Escalation: Emotions heighten. Safety for all is compromised.
Policy breach: An action violates protocol, whether intentional or not.
Reputational and/or monetary fallout: The incident becomes public or legal, and the company reacts.
Disciplinary action: The employee is penalized, but nothing is changed upstream.

This loop repeats itself across retailers until an investment is made. Not in more rules, but in better tools.

Breaking the Cycle

The solution isn’t more surveillance or tougher policies. It’s empowering LP staff with proactive communication and observation skills.

That includes:

Recognizing pre-assault indicators and body language
Understanding how tone, posture, and word choice affect outcomes
Using clear, consistent language that sets expectations and boundaries
Knowing when to disengage when verbal de-escalation is no longer feasible

Training incorporating these elements does more than prevent lawsuits; it protects people. It reduces burnout. It improves morale. And it makes your LP team a strategic asset instead of a legal exposure.

Footnotes

[1] Atlanta News First (2023). Walmart employee injured confronting shoplifter. https://www.atlantanewsfirst.com [2] KTLA (2022). Target faces scrutiny after violent LP incident. https://ktla.com [3] Fox Business (2021). Best Buy fires worker after theft confrontation. https://www.foxbusiness.com [4] de Becker, G. (1997). The Gift of Fear. Dell Publishing. [5] Mehrabian, A. (1971). Silent Messages: Implicit Communication of Emotions and Attitudes. Wadsworth.

Communicate Smarter in Crisis: DISC, The Behavioral Change Stairway Model, and Professional Sincerity®

Jeffrey Scholz (INCI)

IADLEST National Certified Instructor - Managing Owner at 886 Consulting, LLC - Retired New York State Police Senior Investigator for BCI Training

April 23, 2025

In high-stress situations, communication can either defuse tension or make it worse. That's why I teach a blend of three powerful tools in my crisis communication training:

The DISC Personality Model
The Behavioral Change Stairway Model (BCSM)
Professional Sincerity®

Together, these tools help professionals navigate difficult conversations across law enforcement, healthcare, social services, customer service, or any other setting where challenging encounters occur, with empathy, strategy, and results.

Why DISC Matters

The DISC model is one of the oldest personality assessment models. It's open source and has been around since 1928. It breaks down communication styles into four categories:

D is for Dominance — Focused on control, results, and fast-paced, task-oriented action.
I is for Influence — Centered on people, persuasion, and fast-paced, people-focused connection.
S is for Steadiness — Driven by harmony, stability, and a slower, people-centered approach.
C is for Conscientiousness — Focused on accuracy, structure, and a slower, task-oriented pace.

In crisis, these styles become amplified:

D-types may seem aggressive — maybe they’re just trying to regain control.
I-types may talk over you — maybe they’re seeking connection, not being rude.
S-types might shut down — maybe not from defiance, but from a need for safety.
C-types may question everything — maybe not to challenge you, but to make sense of the situation.

If we misread these cues, we risk miscommunication. We must always prioritize safety and maintain good situational awareness, but when we adjust our tone, pace, and approach, we build rapport more quickly and reduce friction.

The BCSM: From Resistance to Cooperation

The Behavioral Change Stairway Model (BCSM) guides communication through five steps:

Active Listening – Hear both words and emotions.
Empathy – Show you understand how they feel as a result of their experience.
Rapport – Build trust and emotional connection through some non-threatening common ground.
Influence – Gently guide their thinking, provide options.
Behavioral Change – Achieve cooperation voluntarily.

Originally developed by Gary Noessner of the FBI for hostage negotiation, the BCSM applies everywhere — from boardrooms to hospital rooms.

Professional Sincerity®: Our trademarked approach to connections

Professional Sincerity® fuels every step of the BCSM. It’s about showing up authentically — but strategically.

It's listening with honest attention. Empathizing with real reflection and validation. Building rapport through mutual respect. Influencing with clear boundaries that aren’t demeaning. And fostering change in a way that feels safe.

Professional Sincerity turns the BCSM from a tactic into a relationship.

A Real-World Example: Verbal Dispute in a Shelter

Two residents are arguing.

One is loud, demanding answers. Probably a D-style.
The other is withdrawn, avoiding eye contact. Likely an S-style.

Same approach for both? Disaster. Tailored communication? Success.

For the dominant resident: “It sounds like you want this fixed now. Let’s talk over here, where you’re in control of the conversation.”

For the steady, withdrawn resident: “You’re safe. I’ll sit with you until you’re ready. You don’t have to explain everything right now.”

Both feel heard, respected, and both calm down.

How DISC and BCSM Work Together

When you listen, adjust your approach. For D and I types, be direct, but stay calm. For S and C types, keep a slower, steadier pace with room for reflection.

When showing empathy, use what resonates:

D-types value respect and acknowledgment of their control.
I-types appreciate affirmation and connection.
S-types need reassurance and patience.
C-types prefer logic, fairness, and clarity.

To build rapport, communicate in a way that feels familiar to them:

D-types want to know you’re competent and respect their autonomy.
I-types respond to warmth and openness.
S-types trust steady, consistent interactions.
C-types connect through structure and honesty.

To influence, frame solutions around their core needs:

Be decisive with D-types.
Be relational with I-types.
Be safe and step-by-step with S-types.
Be logical and detailed with C-types.

For behavioral change, you can offer choices or options that honor their style while maintaining your composure.

Key Takeaways:

✅ DISC helps us tailor communication to reduce friction.

✅ BCSM provides a proven path from resistance to cooperation.

✅ Professional Sincerity ensures we do it with authenticity and respect.

Together, these tools help you communicate smarter, especially when it matters most.

Want to learn how to use these tools to calm chaos and build better, safer outcomes? Let’s connect.

Professional Sincerity®: The Skill That Builds Trust and Calms Conflict — Even When Emotions Run High

Jeffrey Scholz (INCI)

IADLEST National Certified Instructor - Managing Owner at 886 Consulting, LLC - Retired New York State Police Senior Investigator for BCI Training

April 22, 2025

In difficult conversations, success isn’t about saying the perfect thing — it’s about being perceived as genuine. Whether you’re leading a team, handling an upset customer, or de-escalating a crisis, your ability to communicate sincerely can make or break the outcome.

This is where professional sincerity® shines.

It’s not about agreeing, condoning, or emotionally investing. It’s about making the other person feel heard and respected — even when you don’t personally connect with them.

I’ve taught this concept nationwide through my company, 886 Consulting. From law enforcement to healthcare, HR, and customer service, the principle is the same:

If they don’t feel you care, they won’t trust you. And if they don’t trust you, they won’t follow your lead.

But here’s the critical distinction:

Influence isn’t manipulation. Influence guides someone toward better outcomes while respecting their dignity and autonomy. Manipulation twists perception for self-serving gain.
Everyone has feelings. Emotions are universal and subjective. And everyone is entitled to feel the way they do.
Understanding isn’t condoning. You can acknowledge how someone feels without agreeing with their actions.
Validation isn’t approval. It’s simply saying, “I hear you. Your emotions are real.” That human connection lowers defenses.

Why Professional Sincerity® Works:

Builds Instant Trust: People respond to what feels real. When your tone, body language, and words align, trust follows.
De-escalates Emotion: Anger, fear, frustration — they all lose power when people feel understood.
Strengthens Leadership: Leaders who show professional sincerity® inspire loyalty and openness, even during hard conversations.
Protects Your Integrity: You don’t fake emotions—you manage your response to create calm, safe outcomes.

This skill is especially crucial in high-pressure jobs where emotions run high, from a customer service call center to a police crisis negotiation. When you project sincerity, you create space for resolution.

And remember: This isn’t about manipulation. It’s about using emotional intelligence to lead with integrity. You guide the situation, not through force, but by making sure the other person feels heard, respected, and safe enough to follow your lead.

The Bottom Line:

You don’t have to agree with someone to help them calm down. You don’t have to condone behavior to validate emotions. And you don’t have to feel emotionally connected to communicate like you care.

That’s the power of professional sincerity®.

From Crisis to Calm™️
Jeffrey Scholz (INCI)
IADLEST National Certified Instructor - Managing Owner at 886 Consulting, LLC - Retired New York State Police Senior Investigator for BCI Training

April 21, 2025
In a tense encounter, what you say—and how you say it—can either calm the storm or make it worse. Whether you're a police officer handling a domestic incident, an HR manager navigating a workplace dispute, a healthcare provider dealing with a distressed patient, or a claims adjuster on a hostile call, your words matter.

Here are five key phrases that have been proven effective in real-world de-escalation, followed by three you should avoid at all costs.

5 Phrases That Can Calm a Crisis
1. “I can see this is important to you.”
This statement communicates empathy and validation without necessarily agreeing. It helps people feel heard—a vital first step in de-escalation.

2. “Let’s slow down for a moment so I can understand you better.”
It signals that you're listening actively while also inserting a moment of pause—ideal for diffusing rapid escalation. Say's "let's" engages the individual in collaborative problem-solving while focusing on a peaceful resolution.

3. “I want to help, and we’ll get through this together.”
Use this when someone is overwhelmed or panicking. It communicates alliance, safety, and forward momentum.

4. “What would be most helpful to you right now?”
When someone is stuck in crisis mode, giving them the power to choose—even something small—can shift them from chaos to clarity.

5. “I’ll stay with you while we work this out.”
In a crisis, abandonment or isolation can spike emotional responses. This phrase demonstrates commitment and containment, again making it collaborative.

And Now... 3 to Avoid
1. “Calm down.”
Nothing spikes the fight-or-flight response like being told to relax. It often feels dismissive and escalates frustration.

2. “It’s not a big deal.”
Minimizing someone’s emotional response is a surefire way to make them dig in further.

3. “I understand exactly how you feel.”
Unless you truly do—and have lived it—this can come off as insincere. You will never manifest an experience the way another person does. The example I use for this is: say someone's pet has died. Maybe you lost a pet a few years ago. You can't say, "My pet died and I know exactly how you feel."

No, you don't. The way you manifested that experience will differ than the way this person did. Instead, reflect what you do see and hear, and the emotions you know. "That must be so upsetting and hard for you." Because you have experienced a similar event, you can recognize and reflect emotions that we all feel.

Final Thought: De-escalation Is a Skill—Not a Script
Learning to de-escalate effectively takes more than memorizing phrases. It’s about reading emotional cues, adjusting your tone, staying grounded, and choosing your words with intention.

That’s why I created From Crisis to Calm™️: Enhanced Safety & De-Escalated Encounters—a practical, scenario-based training designed to give professionals the tools to navigate volatile conversations with safety and professionalism.

If your organization interacts with the public—or with stressed-out employees—you need this training.